Learning to Serve

Would you do it?

If you don’t always like it.

If sometimes you don’t want to do it.

If you picked it for convenience and not for love, if it was the less bad option for you.

If sometimes it’s frustrating.

If sometimes it doesn’t make sense.

It you get hurt in the process, if there are cuts, burns and sore muscles involved. 

Would you still do it?

Would you still do it the best way possible?

Would you still smile? 

Would you still go the extra mile?

Would you give thanks for it? 

Would you choose to speak life over it?

I volunteered to work in the dinning room after closing the hospital and having to leave Senegal early (towards the end of March), just because it was the option that matched my preferences, the schedule and the chores were better than others I would probably not enjoy at all. Yes, I was selfish, I wasn't thinking of how wonderful it was going to be to serve the crew members onboard, I was thinking of what was better for me. 

I didn’t know what I was getting into. 

I didn’t know how prideful I was. I didn't know how long it was going to take me to get used to those unflattering uniforms, I still try to look pretty with my headbands and fun trousers, colombian women HAVE to look pretty always!!

I didn’t know I had to keep running and working out to be able to carry and move the food and the plates and the coffee mugs and the trolleys and more. By the end of each day I have walked more than 20.000 steps and feel like I have worked out!! Arms, legs, core and a lot of sweating!!

I didn’t know that being perfectionist and detail-oriented would make me slower than my teammates and often would get me frustrated, too often!!

I didn’t know that I would not only receive the gratefulness of the crew members on a daily basis, but also the sadness and frustration when certain meal is not what they like or are able to eat, I have had to forgive that and love them despite of struggling with dirty dishes with very frequent surprises included!!

I have learned so many chores by watching and following others example. I’ve had to put aside what I think I know and ask all the questions to my teamleaders. 

I have learned self-control. Having access to all the goodies and also having a sweet tooth is not a good combination for a diabetic!! Also, putting my temper under control when I get frustrated about things that are really not a big deal!

I didn’t know my love for music would cheer up the community, and that my favorite bible verses would speak into their hearts and encourage them. 

I have learned to follow even if I don’t understand or don’t agree. 

I have learned to live in the present, with no plans that I can make happen, my repatriation flight is completely out of my control, I can’t plan anything to do in Colombia until I actually make it there and finish my 2 weeks of mandatory quarantine, whenever that is!!

I have learned to move in obedience, instead of by passion.

I didn’t know how much I loved being a nurse, how deep it was in my core and my identity to care for other people’s lives and health, how much I love to work towards transformation and healing. It has taken over two months to let that go and try to make sense of my job in the dining room as a nurse, I have decided that my main motivation is to keep crew members healthy by keeping the dinning room and all the food and items clean and safe for them. 

I have learned to be grateful for being quarantined on a ship in a lonely spanish port, with a community that gets smaller every week, with people that I have grown closer to every day. I’ve gone from crying and hurting so much when saying good-byes to great friends, to be at peace and rejoice for them as they fly home. 

God keeps providing for my daily needs, as He kindly helps me stretch my faith to learn to trust and follow Him today and also into the unknown future. 

He has pruned me and helped me to grow, through all the peaceful, powerful, painful, confusing and wonderful moments in the last almost three months of unexpected changes.

He is making the best of this season in my life, and I am grateful for that.